In India, marriages are not just about tradition but also about complete transformation. And the seven pheras? Oh, so cinematic as we have been witnessing since ages.
The slow circling of the sacred fire adds depth to the promises made by the couple in love. But is it really possible to live by ancient traditions in the modern age?
Let us begin by examining the seven pheras.
- Food and nourishment: The first phera aka vow is when the couple makes a promise to share food and always look out for each other’s nourishment.
- For strength: Next, they promise to develop physical, mental and emotional strength to face challenges together.
- For prosperity: The couple promises to grow together and increase their wealth through righteous means.
- For happiness and love: A vow for sukh (happiness) is made to invite emotional fulfillment, love and harmony into their lives
- For children and responsibility: The couple seeks santaan (children) and commits to raising them with values.
- For health and longevity: A prayer for long life and well-being, with an intention to support each other through all phases.
- For friendship and loyalty: The final vow seals the marriage (sakha-saptapadi) as they are now bound in friendship, loyalty, and unity for life.
Now that we’ve studied all the pheras defined by the marriage institution in India, we welcome you into a new world of love and commitment.
Yes, we’re talking about Gen Z’s way of doing it!
A new world of love and commitment
Before we begin, here’s a disclaimer: Gen Z isn’t rejecting the pheras.
They’re questioning the fine print.
Because while the structure remains beautiful, the subtext feels… dated.
- Why is the idea of children assumed and not chosen on mutual consent?
- Why is wealth building and nourishment tied to gender roles?
- Why is it only the woman’s responsibility to uphold the peace and harmony of the household?
The new-age generation wants to know if this is what you call conscious commitment? Or is it something that is just thrown upon us by society?
What the new pheras could look like
- A vow to share emotional labour, not just household responsibilities.
- The next vow should be to support each other’s individuality, not just dissolve into society bound roles.
- A commitment to make space for each other’s mental health and boundaries.
- An agreement between the couple to support one another and be there for each other’s growth.
- A choice, not obligation should be when it comes to family and children.
- A pledge to protect, grow and nurture each other socially, mentally and emotionally.
- And above all, a vow of friendship that feels like freedom, not duty.
Choosing Self, Before Choosing Each Other
Men and women are also choosing themselves before circling around the sacred fire (agni).
Because for a generation that has grown up questioning everything, marriage is no longer the beginning of identity. It is an extension of it.
Who can forget that powerful scene from the web series, Made in Heaven, yes we’re talking about the walkout. A bride, draped in tradition, chooses to leave the mandap the moment she discovers a dowry demand of four crores.
And when Janhvi Kapoor took pheras with herself first at the end of the movie, Roohi. It’s deeply telling how the mindsets are shifting from a traditional approach to a modern way of thinking and living.
So, is it time to redefine them?
Well, while redefine could be a broad term, let us focus more on understanding them better.
Maybe we don’t need redefinition, just more honesty. Because the most beautiful weddings today aren’t the ones that look perfect in photographs.
They’re the ones where, in that quiet circle around the fire, two people know exactly what they’re stepping into.
Your Wedding, Your Rules
Gen Z has literally made it clear that their wedding means their rules.
Because somewhere between the poetry and the pressure, a question lingers:
Are we still living these vows, or just performing them?
As a whole, it’s our duty to understand that modern love is less about change and more about alignment.
It’s about choosing each other, again and again.
So, the next time someone questions your beliefs and point of view on relationships, just tell them you’re redefining them by making more conscious choices and intentional decisions.
